Why Some People Feel Alone, Even in a Group

Good day, everyone.

I was talking with a friend earlier, and she told me, "I'll be happy when I move," and, "I hate being lonely."  Interestingly enough, though perhaps not surprising to some, she did not live alone.

I responded about how unfortunate it is of how lonely you can get even when people are around.  She attributed it to them not being the same or having to 'act different'.

This struck me as flawed immediately.

I denied those issues, that they were not the cause.  I said more, and in reflection I did not know where it came from, but knew that they needed to be heard by more people.  My friend also told me that others needed to hear it, without my suggesting it... hence, the reason for this post.  What I said would probably fit in 3-4 lines; what follows is a bit longer, as I am trying to clarify it.

The cause of feeling lonely around people is that people often act in ways that are not very approving.  You do not approve of them or their behavior, so you do not trust them.   

This can emanate from your own undue prejudice, in cases where they have not behaved in a way that they should not have.

When this is not the case (and sometimes, even when it is), it is because you feel that they judged someone or something wrongly, so you judge them in an attempt to protect yourself.  This arises out of how you perceive their behavior, in that in some of your past experiences with them, that they have not been approving of you or of some aspect(s) about you, whether you have revealed them or not.  Similarly, it may be that you feel that they have not been approving of other people, behaviors, traditions, attributes, or whatever else without good reason, without justification.   

Your conformity, the conformity of other people, or the lack thereof, is not the problem.  That is never the problem.

The problem is the unwillingness to embrace, accept, or even allow the unavoidable, which is that people are, and shall be, different.

More Than A Choice

Good evening, everyone.  I have to apologize for misleading some of you with what I wrote, earlier.

As the book of Job says, Job 11:2, "should a man full of talk be justified?"  I wrote like Job, as Elihu described him in Job 35:16, who was said to "open his mouth in vain; he multiplieth words without knowledge."

This will be a short post.  With feelings of hopelessness, I was near to venting about my life situation; how I have been searching for a job for months fruitlessly, how I have little to put on a resumé to impress with.  (That said, if you know any reasonable job openings near south Seminole County, Florida for someone with a diploma but no degree/college coursework or solid work history but who is patient, has a good demeanor and is more than willing to work and work hard, given half a chance, and isn't terribly discriminating about the task - have grace on me and drop me a line, would you?)

However, those were merely covering up the error that I would not face.

We are more than our choice.

We are a combination of our choice and what God has vested (or perhaps granted, in the feudal sense of liege lords and whatnot; no transferrance of ownership occurs, merely an assignment of stewardship and responsibility in exchange for a benefit) in us.  Perhaps, in a mathematical sense, it could be said that we are God's grant raised to the power of our choice.  I'm not certain about all that.  It sounds like it makes sense, as then we would be able to marginalize God's contribution but not eliminate it; but I've been wrong before.

Any contributions you feel moved to make are always welcome.

Earth, Water and Stones

Greetings, everyone. I know it's been some time since my last post and for that I wish to apologize, as I have felt lacking in the inspiration on what to write. Tonight, I do feel inspired to write about something that came to me some time ago.

Some time ago, when going to a study class at church, I had been given a few analogies which have helped me in understanding some aspects of what God wants for us and what value we have to him. Each has grown since it was given to me, in discussion with others. I hope you'll find them as meaningful as they have been to me and others I've shared them with.

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The first is the idea that we are living stones - 1 Peter 2:5 says, "Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ."

Remember that man was made from earth - Genesis 2:7, "And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul."

In Exodus 20:24-25, God specifies what is acceptable for an altar: "An altar of earth thou shalt make unto me" ... "And if thou wilt make me an altar of stone, thou shalt not build it of hewn stone: for if thou lift up thy tool upon it, thou has polluted it."

What then pollutes us, as living stones? Jeremiah 17:1 gives some insight: 'The sin' ... 'is written with a pen of iron, and with the point of a diamond: it is graven upon the table of their heart'

If we then are hewn, graven, tooled, and polluted by sin, how can we be acceptable? What can smooth out a stone? Proverbs 16:22 tells us, "Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him taht hath it"; Proverbs 18:4, "the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook"; and Jesus, in John 4:14, "whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."

What does flowing water do to stones? It smooths them; the wellspring of life everlasting from God has the power to smooth away the ways we have tooled and graven ourselves, making us whole stones once more. One person I told this to brought up the fact that water does not smooth stones quickly; similarly, we are not remade as whole, unpolluted stones in an instant, but over time in our walk with God. The pastor at the church, after hearing all of that, commented that water smooths stones faster if there's some grit in it; to which I observed that the 'grit' which helps to smooth us are the grains that have been carved from us collectively in sin, as we know that hardship helps us grow in our path with God. Lastly, an observation I took from all of it is that if we continue carving at ourselves until there be nothing left to save, all that would be left is a pile of sand; however, another person replied optimistically to that, saying that, in a sense, even a grain of sand could be considered a stone.

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The second was a response to the question that someone asked at study class at the church: 'Why would God care to save us if there's nothing good in us?' (In response to discussion of how all good is God's and from God, and not from us.) The answer: God made us out of earth, so while we may not have any good of our own, we have the potential to be very good soil for planting his seeds.

We are very good soil for planting ANY seeds, however, including those of sin; God will help us to tend our garden, to keep it free from the sin-weeds that will spring up, if we will only accept His help and be willing to work with Him.


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Also, I would like to recommend to my visitors here a blog which has impressed me greatly with its message: The Caregiver's Heart at http://www.heartofthecaregiver.blogspot.com/ .


In closing, I know that I have not yet written on "how we can put God back into our words and choose to use our mouths to call the blessings rather than curses", like I meant to; hopefully, I will get that written up soon. Until I do, I would like to refer you to Ephesians 4:29, read it and see what it means to you, and try to filter what comes out of your mouth based on it. I started doing this some time ago, and I was surprised by how much change was (and admittedly still is) needed.


As always, intelligent and/or non-negative feedback is welcome, in agreement or otherwise.